Planet Mark

Back in my office this morning after the best part of a week in Prague. Great to catch up with friends, drink free beers, chat to AMs, drink free beers, find out about new programs, drink free beers and (of course) drink those free beers.

You know, a report telling you all how great it was would be all well and good... it would not really be very interesting though. Instead I'll mix some observations of the show with some *ahem* 'advice' for future show attendees and exhibitors...

Let me start with a couple of fails:

Operators... you are spending a lot of money to have a stand, send out staff and offer crap free logo merchandise. Why then did at least 3 of you fall into this simple trap:

- Operator: Hi We are XYZ XYZ brand, have you heard of us?
- Mark: Yes, I am aware of your brand, though not the details of your offering.
- Operator: we offer casino, poker, sport betting blah blah blah
- Mark: Cool, so, I mainly promote poker, tell me why I should send players to your site?
- Operator: Well, we can offer you up to 35% rev share, depending on volume!
- Mark: Ummm, ok, thats the same as most people - is there any other reason I might want to send players your way?
- Operator: We can give your players entry to a $1000 freeroll when they deposit!
- Mark: Sigh

Hmmmm, spending all that cash and not even thinking of your unique selling points? A reason (any reason!) why I should promote you? Fail, time and time again!

Another fail was a fun roulette game with a model car racing (does Scalextric translate?). They asked me if I wanted to win a prize (whiskey and cigars mentioned!). Anyway, 3 tokens so a <1 in 12 winning chance... the car goes round and stops next to my number... whoo-hooo! My prize? 60% rev share for the first 3 months... sigh. I f-in logoed cap would have been better than that insult! Chances of me promoting this brand are now slightly less than zero (for the time being anyway!) seriously folks, why insult potential affiliates like that??

A large brand can join the list (deliberately not mentioning names, this is meant to be a fun recap only, nothing personal!). After grabbing us and getting our promise to return later he basically repeated 'we are a huge brand' in about 30 different ways... chances of my moving my trackers from PAW to this brand, gone... thanks for those Mojitos though!

Anyway, enough program fails, while free stuff was definitely down on last year we are proud to be the owners of a Cake Poker apron, rubix cube and fun Ladbrokes twisty thing...

Next some misc stuff:

CAP / PAP had a stand in the affiliate area, great to chat with them and hear about their future plans for affiliate program reviews and deals - sounded really positive. Not so sure what their racing car stress ball things were all about, though I'll definitely keep an eye on their sites.

David Coulthard took the opportunity to get his picture taken with Erika, should think himself lucky too. Scotsman when he loses, British when he wins...

Food! Euuuuch, horrible in-conference catering with huge prices to exploit their monopoly and staff who seemed to see customers as their mortal enemy... just plain bad.

Free hugs! What??! Why would I want to get hugged by a giant chicken or bear? If there is one thing I 100% can not stand in life it is hippies... get out of here with your free hug! (mind you the Thai massage was cool!).

What about those parties?

Yeah, drinking is one of my favorite passtimes, and when the beer is free it just tastes that much better. Except the show parties are kind of odd... for those who have experienced the corporate xmas party then this is on the right track. Olds dancing (euuuuch!), youngs wearing their best shirts / dresses in such a way as to prove beyond reasonable doubt that they have no style. Office workers who only pretended to like gaming to get the trip 'going wild' in the kind of way that only someone who has the most dull satellite-town existence ever would enjoy. Bar 3 deep, idiots pushing to get served out of turn even though the bar is free and we are all supposedly in the same business... aggressive business card collectors... and did I mention the olds dancing yet?

Yep, I have come to the (completely scientific) conclusion that conference parties are, well, a bit sad.

Met some great people though - oh, and thanks for the beers to the sponsors!

We came over to the Hilton at 7:30 on Thursday, alas no PALers to be seen. Hung around for 15 minutes just in case and then went for a very pleasant Italian. Never mind. For Budapest I'll organize something... will ask on the boards whether we have any operator sponsors nearer the time (after last years dissapointing promises all the way then no-show of the funds from ******* **** for last years Budapest dinner).

So, long post... to sum it up for me it was great to get away, great to meet affiliate friends and those pesky AMs and cool to experience the wonderful city of Prague.

Mark