Planet Mark

** Note - The following post is completely fictional, any similarities to real posting guidelines which may or may not have appeared at the zombie-like corpse of a former poker affiliate forum is 100% coincidental **

P0ker Offiliate Pr0grums - Posting Rules

1.0 Community Goals.

The goal of Poker Offiliote Progrums (PooP hereafter) is to have a professional environment where Moderators can interact with each other and the occasional spammer or unrealistic new webmaster who happens to have a list of 1 million 'genuine' e-mail addresses.

2.0 Thread Creation.

You are encouraged to start threads on topics that are relevant and helpful, just dont expect any useful or helpful responses, or any even remotely useful responses, other than those responses which start "I know fvck all about the poker business but like to make long winded replies full of smileys that might impress newbies but are regularly laughed at by anyone with even the smallest amount of insight into the business'. While personal attacks, spam, flame wars and name calling are banned we are pretty desperate at the moment, so why not go ahead and post them, we'll pretend they are real threads.

2.1 Thread Creation

When creating threads at PooP it is important to put them in the right place, this is a simple matter of checking the name of the sub-forum by blowing the dust and cobwebs left when the last real business poster left.

3.0 Replying To Threads.

Please be aware that the primary purpose of PooP threads is to enable the moderators to talk to themselves and insert as many smileys as possible into replies. Personal attacks, especially on any alledged crooks with ownership interests in our dead forum will are not allowed - not in MY HOUSE.

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6.0 PooP Infractions And Banning Guidelines

6.1 Any post which alludes to deceptive and or dishonest activity by the owners of PooP will be immediately deleted, the author instantly banned and their pets kidnapped to ensure future compliance.

6.2 Speaking the truth in any way, shape or form is deemed a warnable offence, 1st time offenders will get a reply full of smileys from exactly the sort of bloke you'd cross the street to avoid in real life. 2nd truths at PooP will result in a cease and desist letter, threats of legal action and poor excuses based on needing to feed families... or something.

6.3 Remember dear posters, at PooP all posters are created equal... just some of us are more equal than others.