PAL/CAL Casino Stimulus/Bailout Package

[Jeremy]

YES WE CAN Everybody!

After seeing how the rest of the world leaders frivolously throw around money, award executive bonuses, and generally print money at will; I have decided to take the same approach.

This morning I visited the PAL/CAL Federal Casino Reserve and printed out $165,000,000 in casino cash. I have distributed these funds evenly amongst the 645 members here to the tune of $255,813. I have also added a $25,000 chip to the casino.

This additional cash in your casino account is being rewarded as a "retention bonus" if anyone asks.

Unfortunately though, this new found money has no real value since I printed out of thin air. The only collateral I have to back this up is you the people of this forum and your future earnings from post counts and activity on both CAL & PAL.

The bank is open everyone. Also if you are a mod or admin, feel free to take a few million yourself or earmark some money for those people that may be able to benefit you directly with link exchanges.

[superiorword]

LOL, I was totally clueless about the sick casino cash I just saw under my username untill I saw this thread. Thanks for saving everyone here from bankruptcy Jeremy!

[Ridge]

LOL J, hilarious man

[Gydian]

I have a slight problem. It appears that my company won't be able to sustain it's current employees. Since I employ a lot of people here at PAL along with Seb (My VP of LOLThreads), we need the PAL/CAL government to help bail us out. If not and we go under, a lot of PAL/CAL posters will be put out of work and our little world here will crumble.

We are proposing a bailout of 1.7 Billion PAL Bucks. Mind you, I'll probably use it all on travel between PAL and CAL, and the occasional "bonus" for my secretaries for doing a "good job", but it'll help to keep people employed here!

Help us, please!

[Trikkur]

Well I figured since the govt bailed me out the best thing I could do with my 260k was to obv put it all on one hand in blackjack. I know I should be using it for hiring employees and not firing people, but when I can treat myself just a little bit better, I might as well. I will soon be wiring my newfound 520k overseas and hopefully get another bailout soon.

EDIT: I might need that bailout now. I tried to make it 1 mil and ..... well I lost.

[PokerNations]

If I pop out 27 kids do I get bonus bucks as well? I mean, everyone else in the nation should have to support my inability to keep my legs closed.....

[PokerNations]

As the AIG of PAL, I would like to request another 3 million in bailout casino coins, as we've blown through our original stimulus bailout bonus package in the past 5 minutes at 3 card poker.

Obviously we anticipate the government of PAL will want at least 36% of our action moving forward, so ship the credit and we'll get to work doling out the bonus packages to executives

[Brandon]

This thread is great. True lol's.

I didn't receive anything, as my business is not regulated by the PAL government.

[Gydian]

Well I figured since the govt bailed me out the best thing I could do with my 260k was to obv put it all on one hand in blackjack. I know I should be using it for hiring employees and not firing people, but when I can treat myself just a little bit better, I might as well. I will soon be wiring my newfound 520k overseas and hopefully get another bailout soon.

EDIT: I might need that bailout now. I tried to make it 1 mil and ..... well I lost.

I tried to do the same. This was the result:

[PokerNations]

Obviously PAL can't allow PokerNations to fail. As the largest producer of posts in the forum, the entire community could crumble if we're permitted to go under.

We're going to need at least another 80 billion on top of the 62 billion in casino coins already awarded to stay afloat. That should cover us for the next 3 days, and then we'll need to request additional funds to remain solvent.