Press Release: Party Poker To Return To US Market By Summer 2010

[CarbonAtil]

Guys, this actually has some validity. I was just on a conference call with the team over at Party, and it looks like they are indeed planning a return to to the U.S. market in late April.

Why do I feel like Jeremy is playing along with Mark here

[Jeremy]

I can't wait to surprise my wife with the new "Dr. Phil Look"

[Pking]

You just earned 100 bonus points from me for having Zerohedge.com up on your screen

[corpfan1]

I would like to know when Carbon will start taking U.S. players...

...or at least "converting" them for that matter.

Why do I feel like Jeremy is playing along with Mark here

[pokerprop]

It all depends if PokerStars let's them come back imo. How it all played out, and this is behind the scenes stuff the industry don't talk about much. Back in 2005 the top gambling names where in a secret meeting with "the man" (which is actually a group of men but can't talk about that here. Anyways out in the hallway a fight broke out and this dude Isai was getting the worst of it. I guess what happened is someone found out he was giving away information about locations of AlQaeda (which is a made up terrorist organization) and had been responsible for Sadam having been captured. Anyways when the fight was broken up Isai was irate and threatened to take over the world if they didn't immediately wire him 1.7 trillion dollars owed to him. At first everyone started laughing, but there was a closed door meeting multiple members of "the man" got together and said things were out of control now and the gambling sites new too much. They decided in fear that this many people could not keep a secret any longer they needed to consolidate their agreement to let poker sites have free global reign (which was previously exchanged for money laundering services and weapons of mass destruction) to a single online poker site. To assure all would bind by this decision each had to cut their sole out of their chest - no figuratively - they were actually cut out and placed on the table. A game of go fish was played where the winner would be given control over the world's online poker market - and consultation prizes were given to each. Anyways Isai ended up winning this match when he asked he successfully asked his final opponent - Bin Laden (representing 888.com) if he had any twos. This secured the win and he claimed PokerStars would now be the number one brand.

Later these guys realized they shouldn't make such hasty decisions, they could of thought this out a little better. One member in the meeting from a company called Sporting Bet protested claiming PokerStars had cheated. Isai demanded this man shut his mouth or he'd soon find Paradise Poker as the smallest site on the pitiful Boss Media Network. Thinking he was insane the man persisted when Isai reached in his pocket took out that soul and tore it up. He then sentensed the remains cash down to poker hell to live out the rest of thier days on Boss Media.

When they realized what a mistake they had made it was too late. PokerStars then demanded 1.7 trillion dollars in exchange for limited freedom for the soles they held hostage. This was granted and to compensate for this several banks had to go bankrupt and a world economic crisis ensued.

Anyways this is the true story of how it all went down.

[Kris]

Man I hate April 1st & the pointless crap that gets circulated.